The Urban Dictionary is the Internet’s tongue in cheek attempt at defining the English language. Community-driven and open for all to contribute (credible or not) the Urban Dictionary aptly defines itself as: “A site where users attempt to mock and explain everyone and thing in life, under the guise of cynical quasi-intellectualism.  It should be both noted and ignored, embraced and dismissed, laughed at and revered.”

With this in mind, we wanted to see just how the Internet has chosen to define “Education”. With some flattering, some concerning and some just plain funny, here are twenty-two education terms as defined by the Urban Dictionary:

Biology – bi·ol·o·gy [bahy-ol-uh-jee]

noun

A class that requires memory, usage, and knowledge of the full history of words you can’t even pronounce

Chemistry – chem·is·try [kem-uh-stree]

noun, plural chem·is·tries.

A school subject that teaches the alert young anarchist how to make primative explosive devices.

College – col·lege [kol-ij]

noun

The place where you enter inexorbitant amounts of debt to “learn” things you will never apply once to your actual occupation. Basically, an expensive 4-year waiting period for a paper called “degree”.

Education – ed·u·ca·tion [ej-oo-key-shuhn]

noun

A way to keep children busy and to deprive them of a childhood

Educator – ed·u·ca·tor [ej-oo-key-ter]

noun

A teacher that has an attitude and has favorites. Always dressed up such as wearing a tie or a dress every day.

Edutainment – ed·u·tain·ment [ej-oo-teyn-muhnt]

noun

Combining education and entertainment to teach children. Usually accomplishes neither, since the two are complete opposites.

Exam – ex·am [ig-zam]

noun Informal.

A rather large test spawned from the deep fiery pits of hell. If one fails the exam, it is known to pull the grade down, therefore causing an inhuman build up of stress.

Geek – geek [geek]

noun Slang.

The people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.

Homework – home·work [hohm-wurk]

noun

A punishment given to students by evil teachers after the students have already put in 7 hours of hard labor. (See evil, torture, wrong, cruel, unjust, satan, crap)

Librarian – li·brar·i·an [lahy-brair-ee-uhn]

noun

Information Master. One to be worshiped—Librarians wield unfathomable power, bring order to chaos, wisdo, and culture to the masses, preserve every aspect of human knowledge and rule the information universe.

Library – li·brar·y  [lahy-brer-ee, -bruh-ree, -bree]

noun, plural li·brar·ies.

An awesome place that is underrated in today’s society.  Think about it—where else can you chill in an air-conditioned place, that’s quiet, where you can read a cool mag or surf the net, where you can take a nap, check out movies, meet some friends for a game of chess or cards, read about whatever you like, get free bookmarks, talk to some fine librarians, walk around aimlessly, find out how glow-in-the-dark works….. and all for free!

Math – math [math]

noun mathematics.

A class we take because we hate ourselves (from the Latin “mathis” meaning “Satan’s Alphabet”)

Physics – phys·ics [fiz-iks]

noun (used with a singular verb)

The most common/easiest way to drop your GPA in high school

Professor – pro·fes·sor [pruh-fes-er]

noun

Someone who talks in someone else’s sleep.

Smartboard – smart·board  [smahrt-bawrd, -bohrd]

noun

A whiteboard that is interactive. Most of the time teachers use them for about two weeks and then it starts collecting dust.

Student – stu·dent [stood-nt, styood-]

noun

To study for 14 hours a day, 7 days a week, 2 weeks per year.

Study – stud·y [stuhd-ee]

noun, plural stud·ies.

A pointless action of overworking the brain, memorizing information to find the test has none of that information on it.

Studying – stud·ied, stud·y·ing

verb

What you’re avoiding right now.

Teacher – teach·er [tee-cher]

noun

Good teachers are people dedicated to the education of students in their classrooms and to the institutions in which they work.   (Unfortunately, many of the contributors to this term don’t seem to have encountered many good teachers. However, don’t give up on learning because eventually several good teachers will show up.)—If you can read this, thank a teacher.

Teachify – teach·i·fy  [teech-uh-fahy]

verb

To astound or stupify students by an exceptionally well planned class, or science lab.

Textbook – text·book [tekst-book]

noun

A combination of texting and Facebook. Parents think you are studying, but your really texting and using facebook.

Tutor – tu·tor [too-ter, tyoo-]

noun

A tutor is similar to a teacher, except unlike a teacher, a tutor is able to offer students one-on-one attention and actually explain difficult concepts so they make sense.

 

Have you found any amusing, accurate or outrageous education definitions on Urban Dictionary? Let us know in the comments below!

 

Feature image courtesy of Flickr, crdotx.

One Comment

  1. I appreciate the librarian love. Unfortunately, most district HR departments in the US don’t. They and colleges make it insane for a librarian to work in the school rather than have a teacher take a few classes and take over the library.

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